Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
I realized shit was serious when I put myself in the hospital last summer but I mostly just wanted it to go away so I didn’t really examine that beyond ‘well that was dumb let’s not do that again’. Turns out taking too many pills even if you’re not trying to kill yourself is called parasuicide, and people who have committed parasuicide are 23x more likely to actually kill themselves at some point further down the line. No wonder they psych-evaluated me before they let me go. Really glad I didn’t tell any of my programs that I’d done that. Everything about my actual medical history screams ‘risk factor’.
I’m anxious and depressed and just kind of generally sad, and right now I sleep too much and eat too much and cry way more easily than I’d like and don’t exercise, but I’m in therapy, I have my friends, work starts soon and soon I’ll be living with some wonderful kids. I’ll get my visa paperwork done and then I’ll be a continent away and a year away from most of my anxiety triggers. Distraction and distance are the two best solutions to my mood, as far as I can tell.